5. Doctor Visit

 

I am certain… well almost certain

The doctor will be shocked by my symptoms

Surely unlike any seen before

I practice my blood pressure before I embark on the pilgrimage

Fully prepared to soften the stigma of my “white coat” pressure reading to the nurse - “It was 117/65 this morning”

She looks at me half believing 

Thankfully my anxiety palpitations did not erupt

I vigilantly study every facial expression of the doctor - reading deeply into what I see - and don’t

I do my best to convince him… and me… that it’s really not that serious

It usually isn’t

Memento mori

4. Over Coffee

 

At times a sounding board

At times ears working to listen better

At times ears working to hear better

At times a mouth working at being at ease in silence 

At times a mind working to not plot a response

At times wondering if my face reveals my dis-ease

At times hearing words come out of my mouth and wonder whose mouth spoke them

Most times… an empty seat is my preference

3. suspenseful movies

 

Her eyes look so serious 

I tell her so and they ease and look entertained

She reads me the synopsis of the Jarmusch movie “Dead Man”

It sounds very suspenseful

Too suspenseful for me

We’ll watch it because she seems to want to

It would be good for me to be able to better handle suspense… we both agree 

2. Piddly Puddles of Auto Glass Beads

Except for the increasing puddles of auto glass beads on my street,

the impending armageddon I hear of on the news seems suspect to me. 

I wonder what really is the case out there? I simply don’t see any of it on my street. What’s behind all of this bad news?

I guess I should just be thankful for our piddly puddles of glass beads and be ok with it all. 

1. Car Inspection Waiting Room

We all sit and wait,

the Christmas music unnoticed.

The woman in black is on hold

trying to get insulin for her sister.

The big woman in a bright pink scarf

dozes off and on, frowning all the while. 

A tall man holding a clipboard approaches,

he tells me i need a new axle and more. 

We all continue doing what we are doing

on our smart phones. 

The tall man returns

and gives the bad news to a woman in tight clothing. 

No one notices but me.